His kiss brought me out
by km022112
Summary: Jax teller was her high school crush. Alexis wasn't in his world. What happens when the 2 worlds collide. He brought her out of her shell. showed her who she really was.
1. Chapter 1

_I can still remember the way his hands grazed my face right before he was about to kiss me. They would slide up over my cheeks and into my hair. He would look deeply in my eyes, like he was searching for something, searching for the real me. Like he knew I was in there somewhere and he was going to bring it out. _

_ His lips would pass over mine, and for a quick second we were one. Time was standing still. If only those seconds had lasted longer. _

I've caught myself wanting those moments back. I've been wondering where he is, what he is doing. If he ever got away like we always talked about doing. Even now while I was sitting on the bus, staring out the window, watching familiar sites pass as we pulled closer and closer. Closer to that town that I swore to myself I would never enter again.

As the bus pulled up to the station, my palms started to sweat. I hadn't been home in almost ten years. I hardly had spoken to any of my family. Phone calls here and there, but with our history, I didn't blame them for keeping their distance. If it hadn't been for my grandfather passing away, chances are I wouldn't have been back at all.

I stepped off the bus and looked for her face. She had called the day before I left New York to make sure yet again, when my bus would be arriving. I recognized the look on her face when she saw me. The look of relief, that I had kept my word. I would have never missed this for the world. As much as my mom thought otherwise, I'm not completely heartless.

My grandfather had been a huge part of my life. After my dad had passed away when I was five, he had stepped in to be there when my dad couldn't and my mother had a hard time being around me. Too many memories of what we had before.

We were pretty well off before my dad had passed, and after we were financially set. My mom made sure that I never went without when it came to possessions. The only thing that I went without was her attention, which I needed more than anything else.

By the time I had reached high school, she didn't know who I was. Even when she tried, I pushed her away. Why then did she need to know the girl she called her daughter.

She walked towards me, tears in her eyes. I didn't know if they were because of me, or the passing of her father. There was a part of me that hoped it was both.

She wrapped her arms around me. It was awkward and short. It felt as though she couldn't let me go fast enough.

"I hope the trip wasn't too terrible. I don't know why you wouldn't just take a plane instead." My mother said. Already hearing the tone in her voice, almost like there was something else she wanted to say.

"You know how I feel about planes. Never been a huge fan." Pushing my thoughts to the back of my mind. I was only here for a few days and I didn't want to make this any more unpleasant then I already knew it was going to be.

She grabbed my bag and we started walking towards her car. She threw it in the trunk and we got in. The fifteen minute drive to the house was completely silent. Nothing but tension was in the air.

When we pulled up to the house, I noticed that nothing had changed. Stepping out of the car, everything seemed so surreal. I didn't feel like I should have been here. Even with everything that was going on. I felt out of place. We walked up the porch, my bag in her hand, she turned to look at me.

"Dinner is at 6:30, like always. You eat when I do, or you don't eat at all." There was no emotion on her face or in her voice. I had the strange feeling that I should follow her. She did after all have my bag. It wouldn't be the first time that she had rummaged through my things. The thought quickly left my mind. I am no longer a child. I have nothing to fear from my mother. I reassured myself.

The house was set right on the coast of the pacific. Carmel Bay, California. Looking now I realize nothing about the look of it is simple. The majority of the house was made up of windows that overlooked the ocean. I walked around the outside of the house taking in the familiar sights. Breathing the fresh air, fresher than New York.

Nestled in the back corner of the porch was the swing. I used to sit there with my grandfather, my father, and even him. It was my constant. Anyone who had ever meant something to me had spent time with me in this place.

As I walked closer to the swing, the more everything started to sink in. My father was gone, my grandfather was gone, he was gone. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had known it for years, but in this moment it came rushing back.

I sat down on the swing and let it hit me. Let it wash over me like the waves over the rocks. I slowly let myself rock back and forth and I let the tears roll down my face. Let the years of unshed tears and forgotten memories leave me. As I rocked the exhaustion of the trip started to hit me. I lay down and let it take over me.

He always found his way into my thoughts. Even at night, when I slept, when I dreamed.

I was thirteen years old when I first saw him. To this day I still can tell you the first thing I ever noticed about him. His smile, hardly seen, but when he did, it lit up the room. He smiled across the cafeteria. It wasn't directed towards me, but I saw it. It almost seemed like an instant attraction, on my part at least. I didn't know what I liked more. The fact that he was a bad boy, or that I knew my mother would never approve. It hadn't mattered though. I think it took him three years before he ever knew I existed.

He sat down in front of me in biology. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was him. The smell of his cologne was mixed with cigarette smoke. Normally it would repulse me, but not him. His blonde hair was longer now, slicked back to keep it from his eyes. He was wearing baggy jeans and t-shirt. Sunglasses pulled over his eyes. He sat back in his chair like he didn't have a care in the world.

As the teacher walked in, everyone sat up and gave their full attention, everyone except him.

"Everyone open your books to chapter one, take out your notebooks, and a pencil. You will need to take notes on this lecture for a test tomorrow." Everyone quickly did what the teacher had asked. Everyone except him, that is. His head hung almost as if he was taking a nap.

"That means you as well Mr. Teller" Mr. Williams called out. He opened his book and turned to chapter one. That's when it happened. He turned around to me, pulled his sunglasses from his eyes, and smiled.

"You happen to have an extra pencil and notebook darlin'?" He asked me with a wink.

Nothing left my mouth. Not that I wasn't trying. His blue eyes and contagious smile had me speechless. I had run this scenario through my head over and over. Thinking of what I would say when it actually happened. And here I was with nothing.

"Ummm yeah, yeah I think so." I grabbed my bag and fumbled to get the pencil and paper. As I handed them over and gave them to him my hands were shaking.

"Thanks darlin'." He said with another wink and turned back around. I still couldn't believe myself. I knew I turned all different shades of red as he waited. I was so embarrassed. It took the rest of class to talk myself out of the embarrassment.

The bell rang, signaling that the school day was finally over. Everyone quickly picked up there things. Mr. Williams' voice was lost over the sound of rustling papers and chatter from the excited teenagers. I packed my things up, still in my own world, running our first conversation over and over. I hardly noticed him standing in front of me, until I ran right into him, dropping everything I had in my hands. I hadn't embarrassed myself enough already

"Careful sweetheart, you could really hurt yourself." He says with a smirk. He kneeled down to help me with my things. He piled all my things up and handed them to me.

"Thanks. I don't know what has gotten into me today. I'm usually not like this."

His hand reached out for mine "The names Jackson, but all my friends call me Jax."

"I know." I said with a shy smile. "Alexis." I said taking his hand and shaking it.

I awoke to sound of the screen door closing. The sky was dark. I knew it was well past dinner time. My mother walked up to the porch swing. I sat up and slid over so that she could sit next to me.

"Well you missed dinner." She said, still with no emotion.

"That's alright. I wasn't very hungry." It always seemed as though she wanted to pick a fight with me. Tonight was the not the night that I was going to give in. I knew it was going to happen eventually though.

"Alright, well your stuff is in your old room. I didn't unpack. Figured you wouldn't be staying long. No need for that." She said as she got off the swing and headed back into the house.

I walked up to my old room. Everything in my room had been packed up into boxes. She had left blankets and sheets folded on the end of the queen size bed along with a pillow. I walked over to one of the boxes and pulled off the lid. The first box was old pictures from when I was younger, before my dad had passed away. We looked so happy, even my mom.

I grabbed the sheets and blankets and tossed them to the floor. The pillow was all that I needed. I knew what the night had planned for me. And it wouldn't be sleeping. For the rest of the night I tossed and turned. I wanted nothing more than for my body to give in. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to see Jax.


	2. Chapter 2

The hours had passed slowly. Just as I thought, sleep passed over me yet again.

It was still early in the morning, but I knew that my mom was already awake. I could smell the coffee coming from downstairs. Was I ready to face the day? Face her? Something told me I was going to regret getting out of bed.

I quickly jumped up and changed into my jogging clothes. Running was my way favorite way of relaxing. Starting my day off like this was the only way I'd possibly make it through.

I looked in the mirror and wiped away the eye liner that had smeared over my face. Pulling back my hair and giving myself a once over. My mom hadn't seen me in close to ten years. I could just imagine the things she would have to say about the tattoos that now covered my body. Today I was even more grateful for the door that leads to the beach from my room.

I stepped out onto the porch, letting the sun hit my skin. I stretched my arms above my head, feeling the tightness in my back and shoulders. I knew this was going to be good for me.

I made my way down towards the beach. When my feet hit the sand, I took off. The stress of the impending day had already started melting away. My mind was suddenly clear and the lack of sleep was no longer evident.

I had probably run for a couple hours. The sun was above me when I made it back to the house. As I approached, I noticed her sitting out on the porch. She saw me. Saw my arms. I knew she was going to have something to say about it. I'm glad I got my run in!

I climbed the stairs back to my room and closed the door behind me. I jumped into the shower before I went downstairs to start the day with my mother.

I walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the coffee pot. Not even making eye contact with her as she sat at the table reading the paper. I pulled a cup from the cabinet, poured a cup, and sat down next to her at the table.

She looked at my above the paper, still not speaking. I decided it was my turn to break the silence.

"So when is the service?" Trying to keep the topic on something that wouldn't cause problems.

"Tonight at 5." She was being short with me. It seemed as though she was doing it on purpose.

"Anything that you'd like me to do to help?" Letting my observation pass.

"No I've already taken care of it. I could have used the help a couple days ago."

"Sorry ma. I'm here now. If you can think of anything please let me know" I said standing from the table. "I'm going to run into town and get some flowers for the service."

"Take the car so you won't be late." She said to me still not looking up from the paper.

My mother hadn't always been like this towards me. Even after my father had passed, she had still put some effort into showing that she cared. Once I hit high school she had given up the fight. I hadn't let my grades slip or been ditching. She didn't feel like she had anything to worry about. Her job was almost over by the time I reached 16. She thought she was in the clear. She had no idea what my junior year had in store for me.

I started looking forward to my biology class every day. The seating was permanent for the remainder of the year. A whole year of being near him. Infatuation had hit me hard at 16. His cute smile and blue eyes were all it took.

I entered the room and headed straight for my seat. Mr. Williams walked in the room and asked us to pass our homework to the front. Jax turned and took my homework from my hand. He gave me a half smile. He seemed distracted by something.

"We are going to be doing a group project" Mr. Williams said "Groups of two. Your partner will be the person sitting in front of you." As soon as the words left his mouth my heart rate had sped up. Jax and I would be partners. I had hardly spoken to him over the numerous years we had gone to school together.

Mr. Williams explained the project, the expectations and how long we had to complete it. Afterwards he let us discuss and plan. Jax turned around in his seat. He started rattling off ideas on how we should make our presentation. I was a little shocked. It must have been apparent on my face, because Jax stopped and started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked not knowing what he was laughing at.

"You just seem so surprised. Just cause I pretend to not give a shit, doesn't mean that I really don't." He was right. He never seemed like he even paid attention to the lectures. Never even took notes. He was smarter than I had given him credit for. Which made me feel terrible.

The rest of class flew by. We passed our ideas back and forth. Outlining everything we had gone over.

"So do you want to take turns working on it. One night I take it, the next you?" I said unsure of how he wanted to do this.

"Nah, we should do it together. Maybe after school or something" Acting as though my idea hadn't crossed his mind "Can't really do it at my place though, too much shit going on."

"Yeah, yeah we could always work at my house. My mom is always working so there is no one there to bother us."

The bell rang and we started packing our bags to leave for the day. We walked out together and headed towards the parking lot.

"I have to catch a ride with one of my friends, but I can meet you there."

"I can give you a ride" he said stopping in front of a motorcycle. I looked at it unsure of what he was suggesting.

"You want me to ride that?" I said with a laugh. I had never even been close to a motorcycle let alone on the back of one. My mind when directly to my mom. What would she think? I knew she would be mad if she ever found out. I looked at the helmet Jax had held out in his hand.

"You only live once right?" He said nonchalantly.

"You know you're right! What the hell?" I grabbed the helmet and placed it on my head. My stomach was in knots. My mind was running a million miles a minute. But my heart had kept me going. Jax climbed on first and started his bike. It roared to life Gaining the attention of everyone in the parking lot. My friends looked as well. They looked horrified, but today I didn't care. It all felt unreal. I wanted this for so long. I climbed on behind him and looked around trying to find a place that I could hang on.

"You know you're going to want to hang on darlin." He said pushing back the kick stand.

"To what?" I yelled over the roar of the engine. He grabbed my right arm and pulled it around his stomach.

"To me." He said. I could hear the smile in his voice. He put a cigarette to his lips and lit it before the bike started to pull forward. As soon as I noticed the movement, my left arm quickly joined my right, squeezing Jax tightly around his stomach. We pulled out of the parking lot and took off down the road. As we sped up my eyes closed. I was terrified to look. I could feel the speed. I didn't want to see it as well. I yelled the directions as we rode down the streets of town, never once opening my eyes.

Finally the bike started to slow. I could feel it pull into a driveway. "We in the right place?" Opening my eyes I looked up at my house. We were here, and I was still alive. As terrified as I was, I still had enjoyed every second of my arms wrapped around him.

"Yeah we're here."

"You live here?" Jax asked, his eyes not leaving the house.

As I drove down Main Street, everything that I saw had some memory of him. I parked in front of the flower shop, not leaving the car yet. I knew if I sat for too long, I would drift off to thoughts of him. I was here for my grandfather's service, not to reminisce about what used to be.

I walked into the flower shop and started to browse. There was something about fresh flowers that I absolutely loved. I always kept fresh flowers in the vase on my kitchen table in New York. It seemed to brighten up the room, along with my mood, especially when I felt alone, or homesick.

As I walked around trying to pick out the perfect flowers for tonight, I heard someone walk up from the back room.

"You need help finding anything?" The women asked. I didn't look up right away.

"No. I'm just looking really. Not sure for what. It's for my grandfather's funeral."

"Alexis? Holy shit is that really you?" Not recognizing the voice I looked up. Even after 10 years I would know that face anywhere.

"Donna? Oh my god?! I can't believe this. You're still here!" Donna had been one of my friends from high school. She had dated Jax's best friend. We had talked over the phone a few times, but not recently.

"Yeah I'm still here! Like that's a surprise." She held up her left had showing off a wedding ring. "Bet this doesn't surprise you either." She laughed as I grabbed at her hand.

"To who? Do I know him?"

"Yeah I would think so. Opie and I." The words left her mouth and my jaw dropped. I had never thought that they would have made it this far. They were always so off and on again.

"That's great. I'm so happy for you both."

"Thanks Lex. I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I know how close the two of you were" she said leaning in to give me a hug. I wrapped my arms around her to return the hug. "Have you seen Jax yet?"

It was the only thing constantly on my mind since getting on the bus to come back home. He had plans, to get away from here, away from the life he was bound to have if he stayed.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry this chapter isn't very long. Have an early morning, but the sooner I get home the sooner I can get started on number 4! Hope everyone is still enjoying it so far.

* * *

After leaving the flower shop, I couldn't think of anything else. He was supposed to get away from here. At least that is what he told me all those nights together on the beach. The life his father led before he died, was not the one Jax had planned for himself.

* * *

Jax finally broke the gaze from the house. I wanted to know what was running through his mind, but before I could ask he spoke up.

"This place is fuckin insane!" he exclaimed as he walked towards the wall of windows that overlooked the ocean. I walked up next to him, trying to see what he saw. I had lived her as long as I could remember. The surroundings were normal to me.

"Yeah it's alright I suppose" I said walking towards the kitchen "we can work in here. I'll grab us something to snack on."

I walked to the fridge and pulled out a couple of sodas and a bag of chips. We sat down and started working on the outline of our project. Not really saying anything unless it had something to do with biology.

The sun began to set into the ocean. That was one of the best things about living on the ocean. The view when the sun started to go down. Mirroring off the water, making the most beautiful colors.

"Would it be cool if we went for a walk?" Jax asked as he pointed towards the beach.

"Yeah, of course. I'd like that." I said as we headed towards the back. The time hadn't even crossed my mind. All I needed was for this moment to continue. This day had become something that I never thought would happen, even if it was just a school project.

I took my shoes off at the door and he looked at me with a questioning look. "I don't want to get sand in my shoes. Besides, there is no better feeling than having sand between your toes and the water over rush over your feet.

We headed down the steps to the beach. It was quiet, other than the crash of the waves. As we walked, I could tell that something was on his mind. Still not knowing him very well, I didn't feel like I should bring it up.

"You know, I've never seen anything like this. Your house is amazing, and you live right on the water. I'd love this. Your parents must make fuckin bank."

"Well it's just my mom, grandfather, and I. My dad died when I was 5. Between her work, and him passing away we've always been pretty well off."

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't know. My old man died too. Shits rough." After a brief silence, I quickly changed the subject.

"This day has been pretty awesome, not going to lie. I've done things that I never thought I would do. Thanks for giving me a ride."

"No sweat, I'm here to please." He said with a cheesy grin. We headed back my house, the closer we got the more I realized that my mom was home. My hands started to sweat. I knew she was going crazy, not knowing where I was, and wondering whose bike was in the driveway.

My mom had heard me walking into house. Before even noticing that I was with someone, she started in on the yelling.

"No note, no phone call. Some motorcycle in the driveway. This is not like you Alexis. I thought you were more responsible than this." Finally stopping when she looked up and saw Jax standing behind me.

He reached out his hand "The names Jackson Teller. I was just leaving." He said grabbing his books and his bag and headed towards the door. I followed behind him, completely embarrassed by mom's outburst. We walked out the front door and I closed it behind me.

"I'm so sorry for that. My mom gets kind of crazy sometimes."

"Just shows she cares." Jax said. I rolled my eyes at the thought of my mom caring. Why start now after so long?

Jax pulled out a knife from his pocket, cutting a rose from the bush in front of the house. He smelled it and handed it to me. "Have a good night Lex. I'll see you in class tomorrow." He said with a wink and a grin. He turned away and headed to his bike. Lighting a cigarette before he got on and started it up.

The blush didn't leave my face, even after he left. I put the flower to my nose. It was beautiful and simple.

I kept running the last few minutes over and over in my head. Lex, no one had ever called me Lex before. I liked the sound. It felt like it fit.

* * *

The service was small. Close family and friends. I couldn't cry. I was upset, I should have been there for my grandfather at the end. I was just too stubborn to forget the stupid shit my mom and I had said to each other. I would not be able to forgive myself. But still, here I sit, surrounded by family and friends, not crying. Maybe I was heartless like my mom believed after all.

* * *

After the service and burial, my mom had arranged a gathering back at the house to celebrate my grandfather.

On the drive back to the house, I took a little detour. I was in no hurry to get back. They were family, but they judged me, the way my mom did. Without saying a word, they didn't need to. I could read it on their faces.

The roar of the bike snapped me out of my thoughts, just in time, making me realize I needed to slam on my breaks. It was too late. I hit the car in front of me. This day just kept getting better and better. I got out of the car and looked at the damage. Thankfully nothing was wrong with either car. My mom would have killed me if I had wrecked her car. I didn't need anything else held against me. I pulled off into a parking spot of the side of the road.

The thunder of the bike was already forgotten. I sat in the car, calming my nerve. Working myself up to go back to the house. I was here for my grandpa, not my mom, or the family. Just for him. I would put my brave face back on and get through this trip.

* * *

The next few days, Jax and I spent together, finishing our project. The presentation had gone smoothly, and before I knew it, it was over.

As the bell rang, I got up, gathering my things to go home. I began to walk out the door, ready to catch up to my friends to get a ride.

"Lex! Lex, wait up!" I heard someone yelling behind me. I knew it was Jax. When he reached me, he said "Just cause the project is over, doesn't mean we can't hang out, right?"

Hearing that question gave my stomach butterflies. It didn't matter what it meant. He still wanted to spend time with me. That's all that mattered.

"You know what? I'd really like that." I said with a smile. With my response he smiled. We started walking towards his bike.

"I'd like to take you to one of my favorite places. I'm sure you'll love it." He said as we got on, and started riding away.

Before I knew it we were here. Not sure where here was, I was still terrified to ride with my eyes open. We pulled onto a dirt road, I opened my eyes when he slowed and stopped his bike. There were shade trees all around us, and I could hear the trickling of water in the distance. We got off and headed down a trail, came around a group of trees, and there was a small stream. It was so peaceful. We sat along the bank of the stream and he placed his arm over my shoulder. A feeling that I could get used to, his arm made me feel safe. We sat in the silence for a little, just enjoying it.

"I come here a lot when I'm stressed, or havin a bad day, or when I'm missin my old man. Don't really ever bring anyone here."

"I can see why you would come here. You can hear your own thoughts. Sit in the silence and work your shit out. I love that you would think of bringing me here." I said smiling at him. Looking towards him, I wanted nothing more than for him to look me in the eyes. I wanted to see the depth in his beautiful blue eyes. As if he had read my thoughts, he looked at me. Before I knew what was happening, his hands were sliding over my cheeks and into my hair. His lips touched mine and for a second we were connected.

* * *

I sat in the kitchen alone. Only coming out when someone else arrived late, or the snacks needed refilling. I heard a knock at the door. I gave it a second to see if someone would answer it. Another knock came from the door.

"Don't move, I've got it." I said annoyed. I walked to the door and took a deep breath, placing a fake smile on my lips. Pulling the door open, I wasn't expecting what was on the other side.

"Hey, sorry to hear about your gramps." He paused slighty. Looking deep into my eyes, choosing his words carefully. "I've missed you Lex."


	4. Chapter 4

Nothing about him had really changed. The ten years had aged his rugged features; he was even more handsome than I had remembered. He looked as if though he had gained 30 lbs of pure muscle. His hair blonde hair had darkened, and it was still a little below his chin, facial hair across his jaw line and outlining his mouth. The look in his eyes was pure exhaustion, not sure if it was from lack of sleep or the lifestyle he had been following since I had left.

He wore a blue hoodie, and a pair of baggy pants. Rings covering his fingers, chain from his wallet, knife hanging from his side. His kutte was hanging off his shoulders, the leather worn from years of use. The life had been hard on him, I could tell.

He studied my face, especially my eyes, looking for something. Forgiveness, relief, any sign that I was happy to see him.

I didn't know how I really felt about him standing there in front of me. In that moment though, the only thing I was really for sure about, was that I wanted his strong arms around me. I wanted to feel safe the way I did back then.

Tears started rolling down my face, and in that second he knew. He pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me. I had always fit perfectly in his tall frame, like I was built just for him. All the anger, frustration, and disappointment I had felt when I left, melted away, and I was content right there, in his arms where I always thought I should have been.

* * *

Jax broke away from the kiss. A smile crossed his lips, he looked away, and a blush showed in his cheeks.

"I've wanted to do that all day, darlin'." A blush now filled my cheeks; it was my turn to look away. I bit my bottom lip, and before I could look away, he kissed me again, this time shorter but just as sweet.

"You think you might want to hang out with me and of my crew this weekend?" He said looking hopeful.

"I'd like that." I said, not hesitating to answer.

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me so I could lean into him. We sat in the silence, just enjoying each other's company.

The next few days wouldn't go fast enough. I couldn't wait to see what the weekend had planned. I was a little unsure about meeting his friends. Jax and I weren't really part of the same world. He kept reassuring me that they would love me; I had nothing to worry about.

Trying to get ready for that night seemed to take forever. Wanting my make-up and outfit just right. I finally settled on subtle eyeliner and mascara, nothing too over whelming. I pulled on a pair of tight fitting jeans that hung low on my hips, they were worn, with holes down the legs. I kept looking at my purchase from the day before that I had laid out on my bed. It wasn't really something you'd see me wearing but I loved the idea of it, not to mention it had looked amazing on me. It was tight fitting, sitting about 2 inches from the top of my jeans, showing off my stomach. On the back, there were cut outs like angel wings, exposing my bare back.

"Screw it!" I said out loud to myself, pulling the shirt on over my head. I finished the look with a pair of tan wedges that made me about 4 inches taller.

I let my hair fall out of the pony tail I had it in. I had beautiful flowing, red hair, but there was so much of it I hardly ever wore it down. Today I was going to. I curled the ends just to give it a bit of a wave.

I was ready and anxiously awaiting Jax's arrival. I rushed to the door when I heard the knock. I was a little nervous about his reaction, but when I opened the door he seemed pleased with what he saw.

"Holy shit Lex. I love the look. And your hair, wow." Jax said, trying to find words. I smiled at this. I didn't know what it was about him, or maybe it was even the outfit, but I felt edgy. I grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into me, putting my lips against his. This time he slid his tongue across my lips, asking for permission to enter. Of course I let him. My hands found their way up his chest and around his neck, while his hands wondered down my sides and rested on my hips. The shirt was a good choice apparently.

I closed the door behind me. Jax had my hand as he lead me to his bike. He handed me a helmet and he got on. I lifted one leg to straddle his bike, and lowered myself on. He watched me as I did, with a grin on his face.

"What? Something wrong?" I asked.

"Babe, you don't want to know what I'm thinking about right now." He said with a wink. I wrapped my hands tightly around his waist, as we took off.

We pulled into a lot that looked to belong to a mechanic shop. The gathering was already in full swing. I was expecting for it just to be a group of kids our age, but everyone that surrounded us had to be late 20's early 30's. Everyone seemed to have a beer in hand and a cigarette hanging out of their mouth. I already felt over my head.

Sensing that I was uneasy, Jax grabbed my hand and kissed it. Keeping hold of my hand, he lead me to a group that was standing around a fire barrel. "I want to introduce you to some of my family." He said.

"This here is Opie, Donna, Chibs, Bobby, Opie's dad Piney, Tig, and that guy over there," He said pointing to an older man, wearing bandana around his head. "Is my step dad Clay, and the women he's got his arm around, is my mom Gemma."

I waved to everyone in the group. Donna and Opie both looked about our age. So I stayed close to them and Jax most of the time. Jax wandered off to the bathroom.

"I know it seems a little intimidating, they are great people. They look a little tough on the outside, but they are nothing to worry about. They're all family here." Donna said.

"Is it that apparent how terrified I am?" I said with a laugh.

"A little, but I was the same way the first time I came around. They'll warm up eventually."

Jax came back with a couple beers in his hand. He gave one to Opie and offered one to me. I had never had beer before, but I accepted it and took a drink. The longer we sat, the more I drank. A couple hours in and I was feeling really good. I was bullshitting with everyone around me.

"I think it might be time to cut you off." Jax said taking the beer from my hand. "I should probably get you home."

"Are you kiddin? My mom would kill me, besides she thinks I'm staying the night at a friend's place. I've got all night." I said winking at Jax.

"Oh is that so? Well let's get you to bed then, lightweight."

Jax led me into the building, which looked like a clubhouse. There was a bar, stocked full of alcohol, tables scattered around the room. Everyone looked to be in about the same state as I fell, ready to pass out. I wanted nothing more than to lay down and just fall asleep.

Jax took me into a room, and closed the door behind us.

"I've wanted to be alone with you all night." I said pulling Jax to me, pulling at his shirt.

"Woah babe, you don't know what you're doing. You've had way too much to drink." He said pushing my hands away.

"I know exactly what I'm doing, I want this." I kissed his lips, and down his chin, till I got to his neck. I pulled my shirt off over my head and started working on his. As much as he objected, he was having a hard time saying no to me.

I pushed him back onto the bed and started sliding my pants down my legs. He watched as I did so, stumbling to pull my legs out of my jeans. I straddled Jax as he lay back on the bed, his hands roaming my body and his mouth finding its way to my neck. Jax rolled me over, positioning himself on top of me. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I felt heavy, more tired than I ever thought I could be. Then I was out.

* * *

As Jax held me in his arms, the tears continued. I pulled away, not caring about anything else going on around me. I could hear my mom in the background. I pulled Jax to me and kissed him.

"I've missed you so fuckin bad. I'm so glad you're here" I said as I pulled away.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I have used a part from season 1. I will do this from time to time. The parts that stick out the most to me. Sorry these aren't as long lately. I will hopefully have a few long chapters coming this next weekend!**_

* * *

Nothing else seemed to matter, just me and him. My mom was clearly standing behind me, yelling, but I didn't hear any of it. His thumb caressed my face, wiping away the tears.

"It's ok baby. I'm here now." He said with a slight smile on his face.

Still not hearing anything my mom was saying, Jax took my hand and we walked to his bike. Getting on, riding away. I needed to get away right now, in this moment, all I needed was him.

The ride was silent and I had no idea where we were heading, but that didn't matter. I wanted him to take me away from this. He was always good at that. We rode around for a while. We were both enjoying this feeling again. After a while I realized where we were going. He was taking me to our place, the streams.

Getting off the bike after parking, he grabbed a blanket from his bag, almost as if he had planned how this was going to happen. He even grabbed a bag of food along with a couple beers. He placed the blanket on the ground, lying down on his side, and patting the spot next to him.

"You had this all planned out, didn't you?" I said with a laugh.

"Well, more like I had hoped it would turn out this way." He said rubbing the spot next to him. I laughed again and sat down on the blanket. We ate while we sat, catching up on everything that's been happening in the past 10 years. Life was about the same for him, as it was when I left.

"Protecting" Charming, as he called it, had kept him busy.

"I didn't have a choice. I wouldn't have made it in any other life." Jax said seeing the questioning look on my face.

"You always had a choice. You had the choice to leave with me, to start a new life."

"I couldn't just leave my family, you know that." He said seeing the sad look in my eyes.

Looking down, playing with my hands, he reached out. Lifting my head up with his hand he said "None of that matters right this second though. Only thing that matters right now is us." He leaned in and kissed my lips, pulling me down on top of him. The kiss deepened as his hands slid down my sides. I moaned from his touch. I've longed for this touch for far too long. As I went for his pants, he stopped my hands.

"As much as I want this, I don't want it here, not this way. Let's go back to my place."

We packed everything back up and headed back to his place.

* * *

The house was cute. Never thought of him ever owning a house, it made him seem so grown up. Entering the house, I looked around. It seemed to fit him, fit his style. As he put a few things away, I went in search of the bathroom. I peaked behind a door, the walls were painted pale blue, and a changing table was against one wall, with a crib on the opposite. The name Abel was hanging on the wall above the crib and a motorcycle mobile hung about it.

Jax walked up behind me. I turned to look at him, with hurt in my eyes.

"Lex, let me explain." He said reaching for my hand. I pulled away instantly.

"When were you planning on telling me?"

"It's not what you think. I married Wendy a year ago."

"You're married!?"

"We're separated now, divorce is pending. We tried to reconcile about 6 months back. She got pregnant, and started using again. I haven't been with her since."

I started to walk past Jax towards the front door. I didn't want to hear this. I didn't want my heart to break all over again. It was supposed to be me.

"Don't you get tired of it? Running?" Jax called out to me as I reached the door.

"I'm not running." I said stopping with my hand on the door knob.

"Your life is a series of hit and runs. The minute someone make you feel uncomfortable, tests your loyalty little Alexis packs her bags and hits the road."

"That's not fair." I said turning around to face him.

"Not fair? You want to know how many women I've slept with over the last 10 years?"

"Don't do this."

"Hundreds! Maybe more, I don't know. I barely see their faces. I married Wendy because I was lonely because I got tired of the endless disconnect. It was just a sad time out. Because when I'm inside someone, there's only one face I see. When you came home, it was like some kind of sign to me. Like my past coming round, giving me another shot to do this different, better. Now that chance is running away again."

That was the last thing I ever expected. It might have been the most disgustingly sweet thing that anyone has ever said to me.

* * *

I can still remember the first time, our first time. He had taken me out that night for dinner, a cute little diner on main. We sat at the window seat; he held my hand across the table, not once letting it go. The waitress was flirting, not even acknowledging me. Jax hadn't seemed to notice. I was the only girl in his world. I was all he needed. After dinner we walked down the street, his arm wrapped around my shoulder.

"I kind of got us a place, for the night." Jax said nervously, running his hands through his hair. I could tell he didn't want to make eye contact. Not sure how I would react to his statement.

"Hey," I said getting him to look at me "I was hoping you would."

He smiled, the nervousness he had felt, melted away. We walked to the hotel. My stomach was doing flips. I had never done this before. I was happy it was going to be with him though. We got to the door to our room, fumbling with the key, he opened it.

The room was nice. I had no idea how he could afford something like this, but that was the furthest thing from my mind. The king size bed looked so comfortable. I couldn't wait to lie down. Off to the side of the bed, was a large Jacuzzi tub. Candles lined the edge; a vase of roses joined them.

Jax lit the candles, and then turned to switch off the lights. He kissed my lips slowly, sliding a strand of hair from my face. He walked back, still kissing me, until he reached the bed. Sitting down he leaned back as he watched me. I slowly pulled my shirt off over my head, and grabbed for my pants, sliding them down my legs.

My hands reached to cover me, not doing a very good job. Jax pulled my hands down, into his hands.

"Lex, don't' do that. You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

With that, I let myself go. He wanted me, he was here for me, and he did all this for me. He pulled me into him, kissing his lips, as he fell back onto the bed. His hands wandered my body. His hands knew my body, not in this way though. Everything seemed new and exciting. They worked their way to my bra and unhooked it quickly. Throwing it to the side then rolling me over so he could look at me. He trailed kisses from my lips, to my neck, to my chest, finally reaching my nipples. I let out a moan. Jax pulled his shirt off, throwing it to the floor. I grabbed at his back, I wanted him closer.

I could feel him growing against me. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him into me. Grinding into him, the excitement was growing. His hand slid down, into my panties. The touch I was nervous for, felt so incredible. I was wet from excitement, the feel of me made him moan.

"Fuck darlin'." He pulled my panties from me, revealing everything. He stood from the bed, fumbling to pull his pants and boxers down. Climbing back on top of me, he looked into my eyes.

"You sure about this? I can stop."

"I'm sure. I want this." I said smiling, reassuring him. With that, he led himself to my entrance. Starting with the tip, he entered me. Further and further till he was completely inside me.

I moaned, from pleasure and pain. With each movement, it became nothing but pleasure.

As quickly as it began, it was over. It would not be the last time we made love that night. I couldn't get enough. The kissing had brought us closer, but making love connected us on a whole new level.

That night I fell asleep in his arms with a smile on my face, and awoke the same way.

* * *

I stepped towards him, I knew he was right. I would not run away, not again. I was going to take him for everything he was. That would be the only way it would work. I would not make this mistake again. He was mine, and I was his.

Then we made love. Just like the first time, our first time, all over again.


	6. Chapter 6

The morning came too quickly. I woke up, reaching to the spot next to me, feeling nothing. I looked around the room, still seeing our clothes scattered across the floor. The memories of the night passing through my mind, everything about it had been perfect.

I sat up in bed, grabbing the closest thing to me, one of his shirts. Pulling it over my head, looking up, seeing my reflection starring me back in the mirror, the shirt was far too big. SAMCRO was across the front. Looking at the letters, knowing what it meant, what it meant to Jax.

I walked into the hall, the scent of coffee hit my nose. Reaching the kitchen, there he was, standing in front of the stove, wearing a pair of sweat pants. I leaned against the door jam, just watching. I still couldn't believe what the years had done to him, all for the better. Just watching, he had brought a smile to my face.

Noticing me looking at him, he smiled. "See something you like darlin'?"

"Yes, in fact I do." I said walking towards him.

"I could get use to this," he said eyeing me up and down "it's a good look on you."

I could feel the blush returning to my face. He knew how to get me every time.

"You like the 'just been fucked' look?" I said with a laugh.

"I do, only because I was the one to do it." He said pulling me to him, placing a kiss on my lips.

"I made you breakfast. I was trying to be charming and do breakfast in bed, so much for that." He said placing a plate on the table for me.

"Thanks, I'm starving!" I said heading to the table. "Don't worry though; I'll let you take me back to bed." I winked at him, pulling out the chair to sit down.

He grabbed me and lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist; he placed me on the counter. "Why the bed, when I can have you right here?" He kissed me deeply, pushing me back against the cabinet behind me. His mouth wandered down my neck, my hands running threw his hair. He pulled down his pants just enough, quickly finding his way inside me. His hands wandered up under my shirt, grabbing at my breasts, playing with my nipples. I let out a moan as he began thrusting. I wanted him closer, wanted him deeper, but I don't think that was even possible. He moaned my name. He was almost there, but so was I. The intensity, the spontaneity, made it quick. We both let out a moan as we finished together. As our breathing calmed, he leaned his head against mine.

"Lex, I've been lost without you. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in years."

"Keep breathing, I'm not going anywhere." I said kissing his lips softly. We sat together at the table and ate our breakfast. My hand never leaving his, feeling almost as if I let him go, I wouldn't get him back.

After breakfast we took a shower together, washing each other. My hands washing over the scars that covered his body, as he explained where they came from. I wanted nothing more than to wash them away. Maybe if I would have stayed, they wouldn't have been. I know that it would have happened either way; it was the life he was destined to live, being Prince of Charming after all.

My mom had been blowing up my phone all night, between text messages and voicemails, I knew she was upset.

"I'll go with you; I'm not going to let you deal with her all alone." He had seen the fights; he knew what it did to me. I couldn't handle her alone.

Riding up the house, my stomach started doing flips. This was something I had wanted to avoid. I had no intention of seeing Jax though. We walked to the front door, hand in hand. He squeezed as I reached for the door knob, reassuring me that he would be there. Before I could turn it, she pulled the door open, with her hand on one hip, and the other still on the door.

"What it wrong with you? Where the hell have you been?"

"Mom, I don't want to do this. I just had to get away for a minute. You're not the only one who was upset."

"With him though Alexis?! You know what kind of things he's into? The drugs, the women, prison? Don't be stupid." The disgust dripped from every word. She was always so judgmental when it came to Jax, never willing to give him a chance. "I don't know what I'm saying, you're no better than him. Look what you did to yourself, to your body," she said pointing at my arms. "You were always so beautiful, you ruined yourself. He ruined you."

"You have no idea what you're saying! She gets more beautiful every time I see her." Jax said looking at me.

"You don't know him, you don't know me."

"Your father and grandfather, they would be so disappointed in what you have become."She said leaving the front door. She returned with my bags, tossing them towards Jax and I.

"Mom I know you're upset, but you don't have to hurt me."

"You're not welcome here anymore." She slammed the door in our face. I was in shock, she had never approved of Jax and I, or the fact that I left California, but I never thought that she would go so far, or so low. Walking back to Jax's bike, he still held my hand in his. He pulled his phone from his pocket.

"I'll call one of the prospects to come get your stuff. Then we can head to the clubhouse. I'm sure everyone would love to see you."

Not even 15 minutes later, someone pulled up in a tow truck. He grabbed my bags quickly and placed them in the truck. Coming back to where Jax and I stood, he reached out his hand.

"The names Half Sack." I reached out my hand and shook his.

"Alexis, or Lex. Whatever you prefer."

"Don't speak unless you're spoken to prospect." Jax said, with an irritated look on his face.

"Right, yeah right. Sorry." He said looking embarrassed.

"Take her stuff to my place, and then meet us back at the clubhouse." He said walking towards his bike.

Half Sack ran to the truck, getting in and driving off.

"Why did you do that? He was just trying to be polite."

"That's my job as VP. He has to work for that top rocker. Don't worry darlin'."

We took off towards the club. I couldn't wait to see everyone. Even in the short time Jax and I had been together in high school, I had gotten close with everyone. They were Jax's family.

Pulling up, it seemed to be another day at the shop. Mechanics and motorcycle enthusiasts, as Clay had once put it. Jax backed his bike into his spot, along the row of motorcycles. Getting off and placing my helmet on the handle bar of his bike. We walked to the garage, his arm draped over my shoulder, mine around his waist. Everyone stopped working, watching us as we got closer. Clay, Chibs, Tig, Bobby, Piney, and Opie walked out, smiles appearing on their faces.

"Look who it is! Donna told me you were back in town." Opie said coming in to give me a hug.

"Nice to see you Doll" Tig said, his eyes wandering over my body. "You're really grown up."

"Watch it Tig. She's just as off limits now as she was then, if not more." Jax said, only half joking with Tig.

"Welcome home Lex." Clay said giving me the biggest hug of them all.

Everyone else exchanged hugs with me. I missed this; it was so comfortable, so much more than my home had ever been. We headed towards the office. I knew who we were going to see next. I didn't know how she felt about me anymore. She had always been pretty welcoming, but that was before I had left California, left Jax.

She looked at me above her glasses, then back to the paperwork she was filling out, not realizing who I was at first. After a brief thought, she looked up again, pulling her glasses from her face, dropping them on the desk.

"Holy shit! Come here honey." Gemma said hugging me then standing back so she could take a look at me. "You filled in real nice." She said laughing and hugging me again.

"Well thanks Gemma." I said with a laugh, hugging her back. I hadn't expected it to go as well as it was, but I was thankful it had. Gemma had a bad side that I had seen more than a few times. I didn't want to be on the wrong end of it.

She lead me into the clubhouse, her arm wrapped in mine, leaving Jax behind.

"Come on, let's get a drink, and catch up a little."

* * *

Opie walked up to Jax, both of them pulling out a cigarette. "That's something huh? After all this time, she comes back, and it's almost like she never left."

"It almost feels surreal, ya know? I'm taking every moment of it."

"How long she going to be here for man?"

"I don't really know, she was here for the funeral. I don't even want to think about her leaving."

"She has a life in New York. You have to think about it, you have to talk about it, eventually."

"Yeah, she's staying with me till she leaves, we'll have time. We're just kind of catching up right now." Jax said throwing his cigarette to the ground, putting it out.

* * *

Gemma and had been sitting at the bar. Half Sack had showed up, and was now working behind the bar. He gave us both a beer, and started cleaning up from the night before.

As Gemma and I sat talking, women had been in and out of the club. I remembered them from my first trip here; they were 'crow eaters'. They were here to service the members of the club, anytime, anywhere. Gemma acted as though she didn't see them, but I couldn't help it. They were hardly wearing any clothing, still hung over from the party the previous night.

I finally snapped back to the conversation when Gemma excused herself to the restroom. I sat there, taking a drink of my beer. Suddenly someone sat down beside me, I hadn't met him before, but he was wearing a kutte.

"My names Juice, you must be new around here." He said smiling, looking over me.

"Alexis." I said laughing; he had no idea who I was.

Half Sack stopped cleaning, noticing how Juice was looking at me.

"Juice, you probably.."

"Remember the rules prospect." Juice said, stopping Half Sack mid sentence.

"I was just…"

"Finish cleaning." Stopping Half Sack, yet again. Half sack looked at Juice, then to me, shrugging his shoulders, getting back to cleaning the room.

"Anyway, where were we?" Juice said placing his arm around me. "You want to go somewhere we can be alone."

Just then Jax was walking up behind us.

"I swear, I can't leave you alone for 5 minutes without someone makin' a move on you." Jax said pulling Juice's arm from me.

"She already yours for the night? Sorry bro."

"She's with me, tonight, and every night after that." He said putting his arm around me pulling me into him. I wasn't property to anyone, but the feeling of Jax claiming me, made me happy. I only wanted to be his.

I looked at him, smiling.

"What?" He said smiling back.

"I'm your old lady."

"Yes darlin', you always were."


End file.
